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kim.engelen

Warm welcome to visit my upcoming HOME-Exhibition

Warm welcome to visit my upcoming HOME-Exhibition ❤️

What is your gut trying to tell you? ____________

What is your gut trying to tell you?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 6th of July 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 49.
The title for this Confession Drawing will be,
"First brain, second brain, and little brain."

The confession for today's drawing
is, that I have hemorrhoids.
Last weekend I had constipation. So according
to Louise L. Hay, if you have hemorrhoids.

That can be because you have a fear of deadlines,
or, and, you're afraid to let go and move on.
And with constipation that is
refusing to release old ideas.

There's also an affirmation
for the hemorrhoids.
I release all that is unlike love. There's time
and space for everything I want to do.

And with constipation it's,
as I release the past.
The new and fresh and vital enter.
I allow life to flow through me.

I want to have the right
people around me but still,
I'm focusing on the
not right for me people.

Our brain is the control center.
The heart is the little brain.
The heart is like your love brain maybe.
The heart nervous system
contains around 40 000 neurons.
There are even more neurons in your gut.

Today I was feeling quite depressed.
And then I found out about this and I thought,
oh then I can relax it's not a depression.

No, I had constipation. After that the body is
weakened, or maybe also happy that it's gone.
So maybe it's very natural
that today I'm feeling very low.

So of course it's all
stress related I would say.
I focus on the people who
don't show love or respect.
And, no I don't feel that there is time
and space for everything I want to do.

When you have constipation
we become maybe more aware,
of how great it is when you
have a good go, so to speak.

But I'm going to be honest, it is really
difficult, even after what happened.
I want to let go.
But it's very hard honestly.
You know, I have to think of a strategy to
not have, the not right for me people in my life.

#confession #drawings #hemorrhoids #constipation #lettinggo #hard

Who are you in the space? And what do you want to

Who are you in the space? And what do you want to have in your space?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 4th of July 2022.
And this will be, Confession Drawing No. 48.
The title for today's drawing is, "Input-Output."

My confession, I put a lot of energy
into people who don't deserve it.
And then the people who actually do deserve it
they don't get that same amount of attention.

I have three things as an example.
First my little crush, we're still
doing a project together, but
it's kind of like a one-way street.

And the second one is with
Internations, which is a friendship app.
I was scrolling through all the messages that
I have sent out, and there's like a huge list.
And then just a few single replies.

And the third one, I was invited
by a gallery to do a workshop.
And I also started a project
called, "Art Gallery Walking Tours."

And Saturday was the first
one and she already agreed.
And then she cancelled, so  I had to find a different gallery.
I had to communicate it with
the people who already signed up.

And then we still had
this workshop together.
I sent her a message,
I sent another one.

And then a third message,
I asked, "Is everything okay?"
There could also really be
an emergency or something.

Then she replied,
"I'm going to reply tomorrow."

The next morning, I didn't hear anything.
The day after that neither.
The day after that neither.

And now the day of the workshop has already
passed, and I still haven't heard from her.

Maybe she has the same thing,
somebody else is ignoring her.

Who are you in the space?
And what do you want
to have in your space?

You want to shop for the
things you want or need.
But there's a hole
in the shopping cart.

I want to do this project, I want to do these
workshops and I want to connect with my art.

So I think the baby actually looks
at what's in this shopping cart?
And then she is just looking
straight into the future.

As Alfred Adler said,
"We can change."
We learned this, so  we can also unlearn it.

I want to see love more.
And to have the focus on that.

#confession #drawings #texting #ignoring #ghosting #love

When was the last time that you hugged? ______

When was the last time that you hugged?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 29th of June 2022.
This will be Confession Drawing No. 47.
The title for today will be, "Oxytocin."

My confession for today is that
I don't feel I'm going anywhere.
Kind of like, I hit a brick wall.

Maybe I need some sort of door
to find a way through that wall.
But then I was thinking I just need a good hug.
And there comes the oxytocin.

As you maybe know oxytocin
is called the love hormone.
It's good against depression,
it reduces stress, lowers blood pressure,
it also boosts your immune system,
it lowers your heart rate.

But yeah, what if
you're single, like me?

But then I saw that you can also increase
your oxytocin levels in different ways.
So it's not just by hugs or sex or
looking each other into the eyes.
One of them is doing meditation.
I do meditation.

And then I saw about Meta meditation.
This is an example I found online:
May I be happy, may I be healthy,
may I be free of suffering,
may I live in peace, may my
life be blessed with ease.

May you be happy, may you be healthy,
may you be free of suffering,
may you live in peace, and may
your life be blessed with ease.

You can also listen to soothing music,
and that's also good for your oxytocin.
If you really listen and care about
what the other person has to say.

Maybe hopefully listening to
my video also reduces your stress,
because you know
that you are not alone.

And then food; banana, eggs, and pepper
apparently also help with increasing
your levels of oxytocin.

Saying, "I love you."
Which doesn't mean like,
I am in love with you.
No it just says, "I love you."

Getting a massage.
And giving gifts.
I would like to have a dog
or cat or both for a long time.
So hug, hug, hug, hug, hug.
And but maybe it can also be
done with a dog that is not yours.

Laugh more. And if you
don't have anything to laugh,
you can watch a comedian
or watch a comedy.

#confession #drawings #hugs #oxytocin #metameditation #loveme

What gives you joy? __________________________

What gives you joy?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 27th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 46.

The title of today's drawing
will be, "Now what? Joy now."

And the confession for today's drawing is
that I put energy into people and things,
who probably don't even care that
I'm doing that or care about me.
And I can't seem to stop doing that.

Last weekend I had a really nice
day together with Dominique.
And she made me see something, that
this is like programming from my family.

It's kind of like a repetition thing that I do.
And then I say, okay I'm not
going to do this anymore.
And ... it happens again.

And maybe I should
also talk about Carlos.
I kind of snapped and I walked away.
And I think I just want to let it go even.

I am working so hard.
And I wonder what is this about?
I had now already two Saturdays
that I spent with people.
So I didn't work, because normally I work
always; evenings, weekends, and holidays.

I wonder what is this about?
I really want to sleep.
I hope somehow that by realizing it now,
that maybe that is already the answer.

Maybe you are also in a
situation where you do the same?
That you always do the same
things again and again?

Or you meet always the
same kind of bad people?
Or you're always in the
same kind of situation?

Maybe the answer is joy.

Yes, I want to make art,
show art, and sell art.
But I also want to be a
healthy, happy person.

So there are things that give me joy.
This is one of them (making art).
And I would really love to have
a dog, as you know by now.

And with Dominique at one point,
her cat was purring.
And that is so nice about cats.

It's super nice to read about art, I like it.
Because it always brings you new input.

Yeah, what now?
The answer is at least joy now.

#confession #drawings #programming #whatnow #joynow #workingtoohard

Instagram post 17949571934097450

Instagram post 17949571934097450

How is your mood today? _______________________

How is your mood today?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 22nd of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 45.

The title for today's Confession Drawing is
"Encoding Overloaded."

The confession for today is that
I did not want to come out of my bed.
And that I am stupid
and make bad judgments.

I told you in the previous drawing
that I had met someone.
And I told you that I was going to
talk to them to see if it was mutual.

And I found out that there
is a huge age difference of 22 years.
If I would tell this to my
parents they would tell me
how I could have been so stupid
for not seeing or noticing this.

In the previous drawing,
I told you as my confession
that I have not been intimate
with anybody for five years.

I'm being so careful that I do not pick
another person in my life who messes me up.
Today I am feeling down because I had
a small illusion, and it's not going to happen.

You can also influence your
mood with color therapy.
Then I thought okay I had a coffee
today that's also very good for the mood.

So some heads in the drawing are higher
representing the mood
from the baseline and
that can really shift.

Maybe you are watching this and
you are like really heartbroken.
Or maybe you had a relationship of
16 years and you are now divorced.

That is also the positive thing
with moods that it shifts.
Not that you would care less
about that person but more that
maybe it hasn't emotionally
such an impact anymore.

It's a bit as if the shine of life is a bit gone,
like in wintertime when there's no sun.
It's a little bit more
dull and gray.

If you had to give your mood a color,
what color would you choose?
Like red hot or yeah
when you're feeling blue.

This person in the drawing is this person,
you know it's the same person.
With these lines it becomes to me
like a music score.

Let's say if you would have the whole
song the same tone that could become boring.

So moods maybe
make life interesting.

#confession #drawings #moods #colors #people #feelingoverloaded

Are you sometimes living in your head too? ______

Are you sometimes living in your head too?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 20th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 44.
The title for today's drawing will be,
"Kopfkino" or in English "Head Cinema."

My confession for today is,
that I haven't been intimate
with anybody for five
years, not even a kiss.

Over the weekend I have met someone.
And yeah we hit it off really well.
We talked until the rest was gone.
And we spent the next day, a super nice day, at the beach.

Today Monday, like they say in German, "Kopfkino."
I lived in Berlin also for seven years.
Kopfkino means something like fantasy.
Or the movies that you play in your head.

Kopfkino, isn't like really facts, in my case,
it's not just me, it involves another person.
And if that other person is not talking then
you create your own story, your own fantasy.

Some experience it like a movie in the background
in your subconscious, that can even shut it off.
For me it doesn't shut off, for me, it's more
like an obsession, I can't stop thinking about it.

Like why is that constant in my head? It's too much.
The quote, "To love oneself is the beginning
of a lifelong romance" by Oscar Wilde.

Somehow all these drawings
connect, don't you think?
So maybe I can make a bridge
here to love ourselves.

So I don't want to be Kopfkino,
I want to know what's going.
I don't want to wait and
find out, I want to know.

Is it mutual or not. And if not
then I want to know it as fast
as possible or else it can
maybe hurt too much.

We're not robots. We are people, I don't know
for everybody, but in general with a lot of emotions.
And these emotions can
drive you to the wall sometimes.

So I think I want communication.
And find out if is it going to be a drama,
is it going to be a comedy,
or is it going to be a love story?

You know all sorts of possibilities.
But yeah, at this moment,
now I don't know.

#confession #drawings #kopfkino #cinemahead #emotions #romance

Do you believe in you? __________________________

Do you believe in you?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 15th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 43.
The title of today's drawing is, "I believe in me."

The confession for today's drawing is,
that I am about to crash.
I am so exhausted.
I am extremely irritated.

So I want to say my name Kim.
But it could also be your name.
Kim is not too serious.
Kim does not laugh too much.
Kim does not think too much.

And you know it would be nice
if you say nice things to Kim.

And I'm fed up with it, I would really
love it if somebody believes in me.

Because I think when somebody believes in you, you can fly.
You can go so much higher or better or further.

And then therefore I wanted to draw a mirror.
Because at least I have to believe in me.
I do believe in me but maybe it could be even stronger.

Apparently today is the 15th of June, there's now a full moon.
And it's a very bold and strong moon, good for making decisions.

Do you feel that you have people around you that believe in you?
Do you believe in you?

But what if you only get to hear crap?
I have a dream. And then somebody said,
"Well no, that's not going to happen."

If nobody believes in you, at least you believe in you.
Or I need to believe in me. I believe in me.

So with this full moon if you're going to make bold decisions.
And if it's maybe too big to get to your dream.
You can start with small things, and if that works then you can go from there.

And then you can grow and build it up.
Maybe I could just really look in the mirror.
And say, “I believe in you,” and start from there.

Kim's dreams can come true.
Your dreams can come true.

You know maybe there are also positive aspects
if you don't have people believe in you.
And that is that you don't need other people to continue.

#confession #drawings #dreams #believe #mirrow #crash

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