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Instagram post 17949571934097450

Instagram post 17949571934097450

How is your mood today? _______________________

How is your mood today?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 22nd of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 45.

The title for today's Confession Drawing is
"Encoding Overloaded."

The confession for today is that
I did not want to come out of my bed.
And that I am stupid
and make bad judgments.

I told you in the previous drawing
that I had met someone.
And I told you that I was going to
talk to them to see if it was mutual.

And I found out that there
is a huge age difference of 22 years.
If I would tell this to my
parents they would tell me
how I could have been so stupid
for not seeing or noticing this.

In the previous drawing,
I told you as my confession
that I have not been intimate
with anybody for five years.

I'm being so careful that I do not pick
another person in my life who messes me up.
Today I am feeling down because I had
a small illusion, and it's not going to happen.

You can also influence your
mood with color therapy.
Then I thought okay I had a coffee
today that's also very good for the mood.

So some heads in the drawing are higher
representing the mood
from the baseline and
that can really shift.

Maybe you are watching this and
you are like really heartbroken.
Or maybe you had a relationship of
16 years and you are now divorced.

That is also the positive thing
with moods that it shifts.
Not that you would care less
about that person but more that
maybe it hasn't emotionally
such an impact anymore.

It's a bit as if the shine of life is a bit gone,
like in wintertime when there's no sun.
It's a little bit more
dull and gray.

If you had to give your mood a color,
what color would you choose?
Like red hot or yeah
when you're feeling blue.

This person in the drawing is this person,
you know it's the same person.
With these lines it becomes to me
like a music score.

Let's say if you would have the whole
song the same tone that could become boring.

So moods maybe
make life interesting.

#confession #drawings #moods #colors #people #feelingoverloaded

Are you sometimes living in your head too? ______

Are you sometimes living in your head too?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 20th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 44.
The title for today's drawing will be,
"Kopfkino" or in English "Head Cinema."

My confession for today is,
that I haven't been intimate
with anybody for five
years, not even a kiss.

Over the weekend I have met someone.
And yeah we hit it off really well.
We talked until the rest was gone.
And we spent the next day, a super nice day, at the beach.

Today Monday, like they say in German, "Kopfkino."
I lived in Berlin also for seven years.
Kopfkino means something like fantasy.
Or the movies that you play in your head.

Kopfkino, isn't like really facts, in my case,
it's not just me, it involves another person.
And if that other person is not talking then
you create your own story, your own fantasy.

Some experience it like a movie in the background
in your subconscious, that can even shut it off.
For me it doesn't shut off, for me, it's more
like an obsession, I can't stop thinking about it.

Like why is that constant in my head? It's too much.
The quote, "To love oneself is the beginning
of a lifelong romance" by Oscar Wilde.

Somehow all these drawings
connect, don't you think?
So maybe I can make a bridge
here to love ourselves.

So I don't want to be Kopfkino,
I want to know what's going.
I don't want to wait and
find out, I want to know.

Is it mutual or not. And if not
then I want to know it as fast
as possible or else it can
maybe hurt too much.

We're not robots. We are people, I don't know
for everybody, but in general with a lot of emotions.
And these emotions can
drive you to the wall sometimes.

So I think I want communication.
And find out if is it going to be a drama,
is it going to be a comedy,
or is it going to be a love story?

You know all sorts of possibilities.
But yeah, at this moment,
now I don't know.

#confession #drawings #kopfkino #cinemahead #emotions #romance

Do you believe in you? __________________________

Do you believe in you?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 15th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 43.
The title of today's drawing is, "I believe in me."

The confession for today's drawing is,
that I am about to crash.
I am so exhausted.
I am extremely irritated.

So I want to say my name Kim.
But it could also be your name.
Kim is not too serious.
Kim does not laugh too much.
Kim does not think too much.

And you know it would be nice
if you say nice things to Kim.

And I'm fed up with it, I would really
love it if somebody believes in me.

Because I think when somebody believes in you, you can fly.
You can go so much higher or better or further.

And then therefore I wanted to draw a mirror.
Because at least I have to believe in me.
I do believe in me but maybe it could be even stronger.

Apparently today is the 15th of June, there's now a full moon.
And it's a very bold and strong moon, good for making decisions.

Do you feel that you have people around you that believe in you?
Do you believe in you?

But what if you only get to hear crap?
I have a dream. And then somebody said,
"Well no, that's not going to happen."

If nobody believes in you, at least you believe in you.
Or I need to believe in me. I believe in me.

So with this full moon if you're going to make bold decisions.
And if it's maybe too big to get to your dream.
You can start with small things, and if that works then you can go from there.

And then you can grow and build it up.
Maybe I could just really look in the mirror.
And say, “I believe in you,” and start from there.

Kim's dreams can come true.
Your dreams can come true.

You know maybe there are also positive aspects
if you don't have people believe in you.
And that is that you don't need other people to continue.

#confession #drawings #dreams #believe #mirrow #crash

Instagram post 17922328511342020

Instagram post 17922328511342020

Do you feel the pull of the camina? _____________

Do you feel the pull of the camina?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 13th of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 42.

This is another recording from
Bloom Gallery in Valencia.

The title for today's drawing is,
"The Pull of the Camina."

My confession for today is that
I felt pretty sad the last days.
I then have this, I do not matter-feeling.
And of course I know it's not true.

But the feeling feels very real.
Yeah I will get over it eventually.
I feel rejected, I do not feel wanted.

I told you that I was going
to call my parents again.
You know by now my father
hit and kicked me in January.

So now it's kind of
like I am in mourning.
I don't see the point anymore of the
relationship, I guess it's broken.

I want to reboot in love and peace.
I want to feel that within me and if possible also around me.

And, but you know you cannot change
other people, you can only change yourself.
So I guess it has to be me. Some sort of
new mindset or something, I don't know.

I went to, 'Women who Walk'.
And I met two really nice ladies.
One of the women did a part of the
'Camino de Santiago de Compostela'

She said, The camina (the road, the path)
is pulling you. And I think I feel that.

Pilgrim: a person regarded
as journeying through life.
Probably you are doing it too,
if you're working on yourself.

Or if you're occupying yourself with
self-healing or Improvement.
And maybe you also regard
yourself as a work in progress.

So maybe then you're
also sort of a pilgrim.
We could recognize our status
as mere pilgrims in this world.

People are constantly changing
if they want, in a way, somehow.
And moving, so you're not
stuck in one place, well let's hope.

My reboot might be that I am going to walk a
part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela.
And be together with other sufferers
and people who look for answers.

#confession #drawings #sad #rejected #unwanted #camina

Do you sometimes gossip? ________________________

Do you sometimes gossip?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 9th of June 2022.
This will be Confession Drawing no. 41.
This recording is from Bloom Gallery in Valencia.

My confession for today, I was visiting a new artist friend in her studio. It was the Russafa open gallery and studio space weekend.
She shares her studio with six other artists and they wanted to get new drinks.
I offered to help, so I went with them to the supermarket.
And one of the girls said, you have to bring back the cart.
I said, is that a request or a demand?
Because I don't really like it if people tell me what to do.

The other girl said, what did you say?
And then I said it again, like was it a command or request?
And there it happened, so at that point, you can call it gossip because the girl was maybe one or two meters before us.

The girl wanted to take the drinks with the card.
She was stopped by the woman from the supermarket.
And a woman passed us because she was blocking the exit, and she said, Why make this drama? You are 3 of you.

We went back to the studio and later I went home and said goodbye to everybody.
And I also passed this girl, and she was looking very angry, so she definitely had heard it.
So I went home and I really regretted it.

And then I also want to share, that in your head you defend yourself.
Because now in my head I'm thinking, okay she's a really whiny girl because we could carry it you know for three of us.

So my confession is, yeah I gossiped and I don't want to do it.
Because I think if you gossip, then you should also let the other person know it.
So I offered to help, but my help is not limitless.
So I could have said, I can help you carry it but I'm not going to bring back the shopping cart.
I have to be more verbal about what I want and don't want.

The title for today is "My own Boss."
Okay, this one I messed up, but next time I will do better.

#confession #drawings #gossip #angry #messedup #myownboss

When was the last time you stretched your arms up?

When was the last time you stretched your arms up?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is 5 June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 40.
The title of today's Confession Drawing
will be, "Winning Disco."

The confession for this drawing is, I don't want
to be someone else's stepping stone anymore.
Because I feel that I'm stuck in the
same place while they are moving on.

And I do like a win-win situation,
but this doesn't feel good.
And the other thing is that
it reminds me of my mother.

So my mother used to say, "Ich
ben tog zaeker geine sjoedelsplak."
And that is Limburgish for,
I am not a cleaning cloth.

Thinking about semantics, I am saying,
I don't want to be. And she is saying, I am not.
So if you would delete the 'don't' and 'not'
then it would be, I 'want' to be a stepping stone.
And for my mother that would be,
I 'am' a cleaning cloth.

I was around 10 or 12 years old
when she used to say this.
And I remember thinking, because she
said it so often, she put attention to it.

So it's like if you constantly say, I am not
a cleaning cloth, I am not a cleaning cloth,
I am not a cleaning cloth, then in the end
you're sort of becoming the cleaning cloth.

Because you're constantly
saying you're not.
But maybe the 'not' is not being heard
and then you are the cleaning cloth.

So I was thinking,
what do I want to be?
And I want to be successful, I want to be a
winner, I want to be a high-performing artist.

I read somewhere that when
you stretch your arms upward.
That your brain actually thinks
that you did something good.

It also relieves tension, reduces
stress, and increases blood circulation.
And it just feels good. Reaching to the
sky and exhaling at the end of a stretch

releases endorphins dopamine and serotonin.
These chemicals help to motivate us.
But I was just thinking about
this like, yeah, this feeling.

Somehow I think that would be nice
if I bring that into the drawing.

#confession #drawings #winning #disco #stretch #arms

Where are you sitting? __________________________

Where are you sitting?

_________________________________________________

Hello, today is the 2nd of June 2022.
And this will be Confession Drawing No. 39.
The title for today's Confession
Drawing will be, "Built better tables."

I want to confess that I'm not really
proud of everything I've done in my past.
And things that I'm seeing now and people
that I don't like, I probably did myself.

I read this book by Sheryl Sandberg, "Lean In"
in 2013. It's about women's things.
So women should sit at the table
so that they can become leaders.

And then I saw this actor, creator
Lilly Singh from this year 2022,
"A seat at the table isn't the
solution for gender equity."

So the title, "Build better tables", I noticed during the workshop three men were taking a lot of attention. You know I don't like to say, Hey, you have to change this or that.

Because everybody is how they are, and
every person matters, every voice matters.
And especially this diversity
makes it interesting I think.

But then I'm kind of also struggling with myself.
How do I fit in there? Because if three voices
are always talking, what about the rest?

That's I think why Lily Singh came into the picture.
That it's not just that you have to sit at the table,
which is already for me it was a very big insight.
Maybe it's actually not a table that you want to
sit at, maybe you should create your own table.

And then I mean like for example with my family.
I cannot sit at the table literally with my family
with my brother there.
Because it's horrible, terrible, difficult.
Because I can't move, I can't look, I can't do
anything, because everything's a provocation.

So actually it's not possible to sit at that table.
But I could maybe create my own family or my own
circle of friends who do want to hear my voice as well.

That's why I thought of, Build better tables.
So do it yourself.

#confession #drawings #family #sit #table #build

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